Life's Hard Lessons.

It seems that life has a way of reminding ...uh hum...ok, humbling (sometimes humiliating) me.  I am reminded of my "shortcomings" (dare I say, weaknesses).

It's not that I thought I was perfect.  It's not that I thought that I had already obtained perfection and had no sin in my life.

But yet, somehow, I do.

Let me just say it, "I AM A SINNER!"  Phew...now that feels better.

I am a sinner.  As much as I think I've obtained or gained some meritorial status as a christian (you know, I've been a christian for 20 years) or earned brownie points for getting my license to preach, I am still a sinner.  I still make mistakes.  I mess up.  yep.  That's me.

Now that you have picked yourself off the floor in realizing that I'm just like you (yeah, you're a sinner too), lets get down to business.

I have learned that some nasty habits of mine (38 years worth) are actually sin.  I can justify that I've never known any better.  I can say up until recently, I didn't realize I was even in sin.  But either way, it's still sin.  It doesn't matter whether I knew it or not - it's still sin.

Someone was kind enough to point it out.  Kind...yeah.  I didn't think so at first, but I am glad that they did.  Their "kindness" is my growth.  Because of their willingness and obedience to point out my flaw (ok - flaws, there was more than one), I am growing.  I am being refined.  I am having these impurities removed from my life. 

It's never easy to be refined.  It's never easy to be purified.  Even worse, it's never pleasant to be pruned...losing well-worn and beloved habits hurts, but in the long run, I will be better for it.

Faithful in the Little.

"Be Faithful in the Little."

Those are the words the Lord gave me when I asked why doors haven't flung open for me in the arena of full-time ministry and itinerate evangelism. 

Those are the words that caused me to call Paradise Manor, the local Senior Home run and operated by the Assemblies of God, and volunteer to lead a devotional.  I'm now the 3rd Monday of each month.

Those are the words that are causing me to check-out and begin praying about my involvement with 252 Underground, a local youth ministry devoted to reaching the hard-to-reach kids in Lansdale.

Those are the words that continue to echo when I think of unsaved friends and loved ones that I am intentionally investing in...for the countless one-on-one teenagers I meet/text/facebook...

Be faithful with the Little.

Doing Hard Things...

Steps of faith aren't always grandiose and hugely impactful...they can be just mere baby steps, in obedience to what God is calling you to do.

Yesterday, I took a baby step.  I led devotions at a nursing home.  So, Not so hard you say.  Well, I have never been one to enjoy nursing home ministry.  I work with Kids and Teens.  So, I took this one GIANT fearful step and actually had fun.  I walked in and felt at home.  I enjoyed the message and the interaction with the seniors.  It was a HUGE step of faith on my part, albeit one minute baby step in reality.

I continue to take steps of faith in everyday.

1. I joined a CATALYST group, which is basically a group of licensed ministers in my region who gather regularly to discuss leadership issues.  I go to my first one tomorrow.  A little afraid - yeah.  But I know this is a step of faith.
2. Tonight, I am attending 252 Underground's bible study.  What is 252?  It's a place for teenagers who might not necessarily fit in anywhere else (including the typical church setting) to come and get fed, with physical and spiritual food.
3. I joined Boot Camp - a highly effective physical training group.  Starting on Monday, I will meet 3 times a week with several others at a local park for one hour of intensive physical exercise. 

Just some small baby steps, but all with one goal - to go forward in faith and see what excitement God has in store for me.

I like it FAST!

I live in a FAST FOOD society, yet it seems circumstances around me keep me moving around like a sluggish turtle on an uphill mission full of slip-slidy mud to no-where!

I try pushing forward - only to find obstacles slowing me down.  I try to resolve issues in my life, but something keeps it from happening.  I have unanswered prayers...unanswered questions...unanswered direction...UGH!

As much as I want it done NOW...God is working something in the WAIT!  I'm not sure what but there's something in the thinking that there's something He is doing.

I have been praying throughout the past week for refining, purifying FIRE that burns to the core of who I am.  If you've ever tried to start a fire artificially, you've seen where when you put the fire-starter in the pile, a huge bright flame will seemingly cover the surface of the wood, but in a few minutes, when the fire-starter is consumed, oftentimes, the fire goes out.

THAT'S NOT THE FIRE I WANT!

I want the Fire that consumes to the very core of the wood.  That even when the outside might look a little ashy and "dead", there's a fire that's burning deep within that when it's stirred or poke, a fire burns out bright and clear. 

I don't want any artificial flames of "God" on me...I want the FIRE OF GOD to burn to the very center of my being.  I want a fire that burns hot and bright - ALL THE TIME...not just for a show for a few moments.

That's the prayer of my week - for God to set me on FIRE!

All the other "stuff" that hinders me ... WHO CARES!  All the other "stuff" that frustrates me ... LET IT FRUSTRATE ME NO LONGER! 

I want my focus not on what's happening in the here and now, but to be on what God is going to do as I continue to step forward in FAITH!

So as much as I'd like the fire to burn in me bright and fast...I would much rather have the slow burn of God burn to the very core of my being and allow the purification process that comes with it.

Burn in me God.

While I'm Waiting...

The song, "While I'm Waiting" came on the radio on my drive home today:

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

[ While I'm Waiting Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]

It was a reminder that I'm not to be anxious - while I'm waiting. 

That I'm not to grow weary - while I'm waiting.

Even though the wait has seemed so extremely long, I will not faint, I will not fall - I'M WAITING!

I know the Lord has plans for me.  I know there is a WELL-DEFINED CALLING on my life.  I know these things.  What I don't know is the How and the Where and the When of that calling.  Yet, I will not sit and wait.

I was reminded of this thought as I was preparing for my DARE meeting tomorrow morning.  Even though my future is "up in the air" and I don't know if I'm staying or going or...I am still DOING HIS WILL!  I have loved taking these last 6 weeks going through the DISCIPLESHIP DARE with three teenage girls.  It's been fun and rewarding to watch how God has used this material to touch their lives.  I am also blessed just to have the opportunity to disciple them, to pray with them, to encourage them...just to hang with them.

So, while I'm waiting...I will SERVE as the Lord gives me opportunity.  I will INVEST in others.  I will STEWARD my time and energies into those the Lord has placed before me.  I will MAKE A DIFFERENCE by showing Christ's love and being His hands and feet - as He enables me to do so!

Another day...another interview.

 I have a 2nd interview scheduled this week with a company I interviewed with over a month ago.  It's just another interview, but it feels like a BIG deal.

You've heard me say it before...God's heard me say it a zillion times...I just want to be in the center of God's Will.

But the question is...is this God's Will or is there something else? (Kind of sounds like John the Baptist's question of Jesus - "Are you the Christ or is there another?")

I am not doubting what God is up to...I am discerning His Will - yeah, that's it - discerning His Will.  I know the easiest way to steer a car is when it is moving.  I know I need to be taking steps and allowing God to steer (guide/direct) my path.  But is this the direction I am to be moving my ship?  That is my question...

So, Thursday is the day.  It's just another Thursday....It's just another interview.  Moving forward, allowing God to guide me.  That is my motive, my heartbeat, my desire...to Walk in His Way, to be in the Center of HIS WILL!

It's Time to Stop!

It’s time to stop…and notice what God is up to all around me.


I went for my “faith” walk this morning. I asked God to show me what His Will is for my life. He had me side-tracked…noticing the nature around me. I saw a baby turtle sunning next to the mama turtle at the pond. There was a HUGE bull frog sitting in the mud. A giant bee collecting pollen…several blue jays chasing each other, following me…

The problem is that I’m always in such a one-focused hurry, that I miss what God is doing in the “here and now” all around me. Interesting. He might just be looking for my attention in a matter that is of utmost concern to Him at that very moment and I’m too busy looking at the horizon, wondering what’s on the other side.

I sent some emails to the district asking for someone to help “mentor” me in the itinerant evangelist realm. I got one response so far. I feel like this is a necessary step for me as I’m venturing into the unknown and unfamiliar for me.

In the meanwhile, I am still wondering about decisions to be made on the job front. I guess I will cross that bridge when I come to it. Until then, I will stop and notice what God is doing all around me.