Thursday, March 31, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
I am actually going SOMEWHERE!
I have been on this journey of faith for quite some time now. I have explored various avenues of direction, seeking God's Good and Perfect will for my life. The funny thing is, this is wasn't I thought it would look like.
I have had a heart for the lost and the calling of an Evangelist almost as long as I've been saved (that's 21 years in March). I love missions. I give to several different mission and special projects. I have 2 children I sponsor in Brazil, one with Compassion International and the other with World Vision. I'm always looking for an opportunity to serve - somewhere.
I always pictured my calling something to do with Preaching and Missions. And I pictured these two marrying together in some fashion through a local church. What I didn't figure, or maybe wasn't quite realizing, is that my missionary evangelistic calling is not to some faraway remote country on the other side of the world, it's on the other side of my town.
It's been in these past few months that my eyes have opened to the immense need that is all around me. I never realized that there were so many homeless people living in my town. Yes, there is the old man at the train station that is obviously homeless, but there are those we see everyday in our town, at the library, in our places of retail, that are homeless or maybe have "occasional" housing. They are young adults. Older Adults. People who have made wrong choices. People who have had hard luck. However you want to define them, they are people that God is opening my eyes to see.
And what does our community have to offer them? I wish I knew. There's a food panty for hot soup in the afternoon. There's a shelter for the men only on nights the city declares a code blue. There's various organizations that will offer some "part-time" assistance. But in the end, they are still homeless. Still hungry. Still in need of a Savior.
At the beginning of this year, our church called it's annual 21-days of fasting and prayer. As a church, we were praying for the needs of our church and community. As individuals, we prayed for what God has placed on our hearts. 5 days into this fast, I had been praying for spiritual growth and God's direction in ministry, especially as it regarded reaching out to my community. This particular day, I get a phone call asking me if I wanted to join a group of homeless people for dinner. I said, "I can't. I'm fasting." And hung up. I paused for a moment as God spoke to me through these verses in Isaiah 58:
Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for people to humble themselves? Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed and for lying in sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the LORD? "Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
I turned my car and went straight to the dinner. I had a big ol' plate of spaghetti and an evening of fellowship and friendship building. For the past few weeks, I have spent time getting to know, worshipping with and talking to some of these new friends.
I almost missed it. I was praying for Direction from God, He gave me the opportunity and I almost missed it. I'm so glad that God is patient with me. I'm so glad He was so gentle with me. I could have missed it!
My response now - I'm praying about moving to town. I currently live about 15-20 min out of town. I'm praying about employment opportunities closer to town. I currently work 45-60 min out of town (and away from my home). That's a lot of drive time that could be used in other ways.
So, I'm still on this Faith Journey. I haven't arrived yet, but I am actually going SOMEWHERE!
I have had a heart for the lost and the calling of an Evangelist almost as long as I've been saved (that's 21 years in March). I love missions. I give to several different mission and special projects. I have 2 children I sponsor in Brazil, one with Compassion International and the other with World Vision. I'm always looking for an opportunity to serve - somewhere.
I always pictured my calling something to do with Preaching and Missions. And I pictured these two marrying together in some fashion through a local church. What I didn't figure, or maybe wasn't quite realizing, is that my missionary evangelistic calling is not to some faraway remote country on the other side of the world, it's on the other side of my town.
It's been in these past few months that my eyes have opened to the immense need that is all around me. I never realized that there were so many homeless people living in my town. Yes, there is the old man at the train station that is obviously homeless, but there are those we see everyday in our town, at the library, in our places of retail, that are homeless or maybe have "occasional" housing. They are young adults. Older Adults. People who have made wrong choices. People who have had hard luck. However you want to define them, they are people that God is opening my eyes to see.
And what does our community have to offer them? I wish I knew. There's a food panty for hot soup in the afternoon. There's a shelter for the men only on nights the city declares a code blue. There's various organizations that will offer some "part-time" assistance. But in the end, they are still homeless. Still hungry. Still in need of a Savior.
At the beginning of this year, our church called it's annual 21-days of fasting and prayer. As a church, we were praying for the needs of our church and community. As individuals, we prayed for what God has placed on our hearts. 5 days into this fast, I had been praying for spiritual growth and God's direction in ministry, especially as it regarded reaching out to my community. This particular day, I get a phone call asking me if I wanted to join a group of homeless people for dinner. I said, "I can't. I'm fasting." And hung up. I paused for a moment as God spoke to me through these verses in Isaiah 58:
Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for people to humble themselves? Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed and for lying in sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the LORD? "Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
I turned my car and went straight to the dinner. I had a big ol' plate of spaghetti and an evening of fellowship and friendship building. For the past few weeks, I have spent time getting to know, worshipping with and talking to some of these new friends.
I almost missed it. I was praying for Direction from God, He gave me the opportunity and I almost missed it. I'm so glad that God is patient with me. I'm so glad He was so gentle with me. I could have missed it!
My response now - I'm praying about moving to town. I currently live about 15-20 min out of town. I'm praying about employment opportunities closer to town. I currently work 45-60 min out of town (and away from my home). That's a lot of drive time that could be used in other ways.
So, I'm still on this Faith Journey. I haven't arrived yet, but I am actually going SOMEWHERE!
Monday, November 22, 2010
There's a Reason
I've always heard there's a reason for every test or trial that we go through.
It seems that the test or trial that I have been through over the past years has been in preparation to help another friend go through a very similar trial. Interesting.
Even more interesting, this friend is the same person who walked me through my own trial. She prayed with and for me. She followed up on me consistently to make sure I was OK. She hugged me and loved me in my time of need. She was my biggest cheerleader and brought me through the toughest time in my life.
Now, the tables have turned and I'm walking her through the same. Interesting how God works. What's great about it, if there's something great to be noticed, is that I know what blessed me and helped me when I was going through it. It's those same things that I can now implement in my support and encouragement.
I do thank God for how He allows us to use our own struggles to help others.
I'm praying she would be able to come through this trial rather quickly!
It seems that the test or trial that I have been through over the past years has been in preparation to help another friend go through a very similar trial. Interesting.
Even more interesting, this friend is the same person who walked me through my own trial. She prayed with and for me. She followed up on me consistently to make sure I was OK. She hugged me and loved me in my time of need. She was my biggest cheerleader and brought me through the toughest time in my life.
Now, the tables have turned and I'm walking her through the same. Interesting how God works. What's great about it, if there's something great to be noticed, is that I know what blessed me and helped me when I was going through it. It's those same things that I can now implement in my support and encouragement.
I do thank God for how He allows us to use our own struggles to help others.
I'm praying she would be able to come through this trial rather quickly!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Something's Different!
It's been a long while since I last posted anything...and there's lots of reasons/excuses why, I just wont bore you with them.
But today, there's SOMETHING DIFFERENT!
So, I've been on this faith journey for over 20 years now, but the last year of my life has been the hardest to date (and hopefully ever). I really felt like I was being pruned. In fact, I had been pruned so thoroughly, there was only a stump remaining. IT HURT! Plain and simple. There were a lot of things that have needed pruning and removal, hopefully to never return. But it felt like even the areas that were being fruitful - they were removed.
Sounds like a heavenly gardener has been at work.
John 15:1-2: “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful."
Hmmm..."...even more fruitful"??? I can honestly say up until a few weeks ago, I felt like there was no good thing in me or capable of coming from me...much less being MORE fruitful!
But something's different.
God has been taking this last year to breakdown all of the man-made/self-made barriers, walls, cages...those things I thought were protecting me, and now I've been stripped to nothing. It hurts. It brings numbness. It's way more intimate than I'm comfortable with. But it's necessary.
For the past few weeks, I've been feeling some growth coming from this stump. The numbness is wearing off. I'm starting to "feel". Again, it hurts. Going from no feeling to an overwhelming sense of love and grace is just that - OVERWHELMING. I've crumpled to the floor in floods of emotion more than once in the past few weeks.
I'm realizing how much I had closed myself to true emotion and now, I'm feeling again.
Not only that, it's more real and genuine than I can remember. I'm also realizing how the hurtful words and situations of my past have immobilized me from being completely FREE to be ME. I had allowed them, one by one, to build up this wall around me until, without even realizing it, I had completely closed myself in and was unable to make deeper emotional connections with others.
That's gone...or at least it's on it's way out.
So, there's where the "more fruit" is starting to come into play. Although I'm still a stump of a woman, I'm seeing the buds of new growth poking through. It's not full-grown. It's only beginning. It's not beautiful - yet. But the blooms are on the way. And after the blooming...there will be fruit, more abundant and fragrant and beautiful than ever before.
Why? Because there's something different. God's grace, His love, His light has shone into the deepest, darkest parts of me - removing the cobwebs, the collected junk and renovating into something even more grand, even more beautiful than I could have imagined!
But today, there's SOMETHING DIFFERENT!
So, I've been on this faith journey for over 20 years now, but the last year of my life has been the hardest to date (and hopefully ever). I really felt like I was being pruned. In fact, I had been pruned so thoroughly, there was only a stump remaining. IT HURT! Plain and simple. There were a lot of things that have needed pruning and removal, hopefully to never return. But it felt like even the areas that were being fruitful - they were removed.
Sounds like a heavenly gardener has been at work.
John 15:1-2: “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful."
Hmmm..."...even more fruitful"??? I can honestly say up until a few weeks ago, I felt like there was no good thing in me or capable of coming from me...much less being MORE fruitful!
But something's different.
God has been taking this last year to breakdown all of the man-made/self-made barriers, walls, cages...those things I thought were protecting me, and now I've been stripped to nothing. It hurts. It brings numbness. It's way more intimate than I'm comfortable with. But it's necessary.
For the past few weeks, I've been feeling some growth coming from this stump. The numbness is wearing off. I'm starting to "feel". Again, it hurts. Going from no feeling to an overwhelming sense of love and grace is just that - OVERWHELMING. I've crumpled to the floor in floods of emotion more than once in the past few weeks.
I'm realizing how much I had closed myself to true emotion and now, I'm feeling again.
Not only that, it's more real and genuine than I can remember. I'm also realizing how the hurtful words and situations of my past have immobilized me from being completely FREE to be ME. I had allowed them, one by one, to build up this wall around me until, without even realizing it, I had completely closed myself in and was unable to make deeper emotional connections with others.
That's gone...or at least it's on it's way out.
So, there's where the "more fruit" is starting to come into play. Although I'm still a stump of a woman, I'm seeing the buds of new growth poking through. It's not full-grown. It's only beginning. It's not beautiful - yet. But the blooms are on the way. And after the blooming...there will be fruit, more abundant and fragrant and beautiful than ever before.
Why? Because there's something different. God's grace, His love, His light has shone into the deepest, darkest parts of me - removing the cobwebs, the collected junk and renovating into something even more grand, even more beautiful than I could have imagined!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Life's Hard Lessons.
It seems that life has a way of reminding ...uh hum...ok, humbling (sometimes humiliating) me. I am reminded of my "shortcomings" (dare I say, weaknesses).
It's not that I thought I was perfect. It's not that I thought that I had already obtained perfection and had no sin in my life.
But yet, somehow, I do.
Let me just say it, "I AM A SINNER!" Phew...now that feels better.
I am a sinner. As much as I think I've obtained or gained some meritorial status as a christian (you know, I've been a christian for 20 years) or earned brownie points for getting my license to preach, I am still a sinner. I still make mistakes. I mess up. yep. That's me.
Now that you have picked yourself off the floor in realizing that I'm just like you (yeah, you're a sinner too), lets get down to business.
I have learned that some nasty habits of mine (38 years worth) are actually sin. I can justify that I've never known any better. I can say up until recently, I didn't realize I was even in sin. But either way, it's still sin. It doesn't matter whether I knew it or not - it's still sin.
Someone was kind enough to point it out. Kind...yeah. I didn't think so at first, but I am glad that they did. Their "kindness" is my growth. Because of their willingness and obedience to point out my flaw (ok - flaws, there was more than one), I am growing. I am being refined. I am having these impurities removed from my life.
It's never easy to be refined. It's never easy to be purified. Even worse, it's never pleasant to be pruned...losing well-worn and beloved habits hurts, but in the long run, I will be better for it.
It's not that I thought I was perfect. It's not that I thought that I had already obtained perfection and had no sin in my life.
But yet, somehow, I do.
Let me just say it, "I AM A SINNER!" Phew...now that feels better.
I am a sinner. As much as I think I've obtained or gained some meritorial status as a christian (you know, I've been a christian for 20 years) or earned brownie points for getting my license to preach, I am still a sinner. I still make mistakes. I mess up. yep. That's me.
Now that you have picked yourself off the floor in realizing that I'm just like you (yeah, you're a sinner too), lets get down to business.
I have learned that some nasty habits of mine (38 years worth) are actually sin. I can justify that I've never known any better. I can say up until recently, I didn't realize I was even in sin. But either way, it's still sin. It doesn't matter whether I knew it or not - it's still sin.
Someone was kind enough to point it out. Kind...yeah. I didn't think so at first, but I am glad that they did. Their "kindness" is my growth. Because of their willingness and obedience to point out my flaw (ok - flaws, there was more than one), I am growing. I am being refined. I am having these impurities removed from my life.
It's never easy to be refined. It's never easy to be purified. Even worse, it's never pleasant to be pruned...losing well-worn and beloved habits hurts, but in the long run, I will be better for it.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Faithful in the Little.
"Be Faithful in the Little."
Those are the words the Lord gave me when I asked why doors haven't flung open for me in the arena of full-time ministry and itinerate evangelism.
Those are the words that caused me to call Paradise Manor, the local Senior Home run and operated by the Assemblies of God, and volunteer to lead a devotional. I'm now the 3rd Monday of each month.
Those are the words that are causing me to check-out and begin praying about my involvement with 252 Underground, a local youth ministry devoted to reaching the hard-to-reach kids in Lansdale.
Those are the words that continue to echo when I think of unsaved friends and loved ones that I am intentionally investing in...for the countless one-on-one teenagers I meet/text/facebook...
Be faithful with the Little.
Those are the words the Lord gave me when I asked why doors haven't flung open for me in the arena of full-time ministry and itinerate evangelism.
Those are the words that caused me to call Paradise Manor, the local Senior Home run and operated by the Assemblies of God, and volunteer to lead a devotional. I'm now the 3rd Monday of each month.
Those are the words that are causing me to check-out and begin praying about my involvement with 252 Underground, a local youth ministry devoted to reaching the hard-to-reach kids in Lansdale.
Those are the words that continue to echo when I think of unsaved friends and loved ones that I am intentionally investing in...for the countless one-on-one teenagers I meet/text/facebook...
Be faithful with the Little.
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