I've always heard there's a reason for every test or trial that we go through.
It seems that the test or trial that I have been through over the past years has been in preparation to help another friend go through a very similar trial. Interesting.
Even more interesting, this friend is the same person who walked me through my own trial. She prayed with and for me. She followed up on me consistently to make sure I was OK. She hugged me and loved me in my time of need. She was my biggest cheerleader and brought me through the toughest time in my life.
Now, the tables have turned and I'm walking her through the same. Interesting how God works. What's great about it, if there's something great to be noticed, is that I know what blessed me and helped me when I was going through it. It's those same things that I can now implement in my support and encouragement.
I do thank God for how He allows us to use our own struggles to help others.
I'm praying she would be able to come through this trial rather quickly!
Monday, November 22, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Something's Different!
It's been a long while since I last posted anything...and there's lots of reasons/excuses why, I just wont bore you with them.
But today, there's SOMETHING DIFFERENT!
So, I've been on this faith journey for over 20 years now, but the last year of my life has been the hardest to date (and hopefully ever). I really felt like I was being pruned. In fact, I had been pruned so thoroughly, there was only a stump remaining. IT HURT! Plain and simple. There were a lot of things that have needed pruning and removal, hopefully to never return. But it felt like even the areas that were being fruitful - they were removed.
Sounds like a heavenly gardener has been at work.
John 15:1-2: “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful."
Hmmm..."...even more fruitful"??? I can honestly say up until a few weeks ago, I felt like there was no good thing in me or capable of coming from me...much less being MORE fruitful!
But something's different.
God has been taking this last year to breakdown all of the man-made/self-made barriers, walls, cages...those things I thought were protecting me, and now I've been stripped to nothing. It hurts. It brings numbness. It's way more intimate than I'm comfortable with. But it's necessary.
For the past few weeks, I've been feeling some growth coming from this stump. The numbness is wearing off. I'm starting to "feel". Again, it hurts. Going from no feeling to an overwhelming sense of love and grace is just that - OVERWHELMING. I've crumpled to the floor in floods of emotion more than once in the past few weeks.
I'm realizing how much I had closed myself to true emotion and now, I'm feeling again.
Not only that, it's more real and genuine than I can remember. I'm also realizing how the hurtful words and situations of my past have immobilized me from being completely FREE to be ME. I had allowed them, one by one, to build up this wall around me until, without even realizing it, I had completely closed myself in and was unable to make deeper emotional connections with others.
That's gone...or at least it's on it's way out.
So, there's where the "more fruit" is starting to come into play. Although I'm still a stump of a woman, I'm seeing the buds of new growth poking through. It's not full-grown. It's only beginning. It's not beautiful - yet. But the blooms are on the way. And after the blooming...there will be fruit, more abundant and fragrant and beautiful than ever before.
Why? Because there's something different. God's grace, His love, His light has shone into the deepest, darkest parts of me - removing the cobwebs, the collected junk and renovating into something even more grand, even more beautiful than I could have imagined!
But today, there's SOMETHING DIFFERENT!
So, I've been on this faith journey for over 20 years now, but the last year of my life has been the hardest to date (and hopefully ever). I really felt like I was being pruned. In fact, I had been pruned so thoroughly, there was only a stump remaining. IT HURT! Plain and simple. There were a lot of things that have needed pruning and removal, hopefully to never return. But it felt like even the areas that were being fruitful - they were removed.
Sounds like a heavenly gardener has been at work.
John 15:1-2: “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful."
Hmmm..."...even more fruitful"??? I can honestly say up until a few weeks ago, I felt like there was no good thing in me or capable of coming from me...much less being MORE fruitful!
But something's different.
God has been taking this last year to breakdown all of the man-made/self-made barriers, walls, cages...those things I thought were protecting me, and now I've been stripped to nothing. It hurts. It brings numbness. It's way more intimate than I'm comfortable with. But it's necessary.
For the past few weeks, I've been feeling some growth coming from this stump. The numbness is wearing off. I'm starting to "feel". Again, it hurts. Going from no feeling to an overwhelming sense of love and grace is just that - OVERWHELMING. I've crumpled to the floor in floods of emotion more than once in the past few weeks.
I'm realizing how much I had closed myself to true emotion and now, I'm feeling again.
Not only that, it's more real and genuine than I can remember. I'm also realizing how the hurtful words and situations of my past have immobilized me from being completely FREE to be ME. I had allowed them, one by one, to build up this wall around me until, without even realizing it, I had completely closed myself in and was unable to make deeper emotional connections with others.
That's gone...or at least it's on it's way out.
So, there's where the "more fruit" is starting to come into play. Although I'm still a stump of a woman, I'm seeing the buds of new growth poking through. It's not full-grown. It's only beginning. It's not beautiful - yet. But the blooms are on the way. And after the blooming...there will be fruit, more abundant and fragrant and beautiful than ever before.
Why? Because there's something different. God's grace, His love, His light has shone into the deepest, darkest parts of me - removing the cobwebs, the collected junk and renovating into something even more grand, even more beautiful than I could have imagined!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Life's Hard Lessons.
It seems that life has a way of reminding ...uh hum...ok, humbling (sometimes humiliating) me. I am reminded of my "shortcomings" (dare I say, weaknesses).
It's not that I thought I was perfect. It's not that I thought that I had already obtained perfection and had no sin in my life.
But yet, somehow, I do.
Let me just say it, "I AM A SINNER!" Phew...now that feels better.
I am a sinner. As much as I think I've obtained or gained some meritorial status as a christian (you know, I've been a christian for 20 years) or earned brownie points for getting my license to preach, I am still a sinner. I still make mistakes. I mess up. yep. That's me.
Now that you have picked yourself off the floor in realizing that I'm just like you (yeah, you're a sinner too), lets get down to business.
I have learned that some nasty habits of mine (38 years worth) are actually sin. I can justify that I've never known any better. I can say up until recently, I didn't realize I was even in sin. But either way, it's still sin. It doesn't matter whether I knew it or not - it's still sin.
Someone was kind enough to point it out. Kind...yeah. I didn't think so at first, but I am glad that they did. Their "kindness" is my growth. Because of their willingness and obedience to point out my flaw (ok - flaws, there was more than one), I am growing. I am being refined. I am having these impurities removed from my life.
It's never easy to be refined. It's never easy to be purified. Even worse, it's never pleasant to be pruned...losing well-worn and beloved habits hurts, but in the long run, I will be better for it.
It's not that I thought I was perfect. It's not that I thought that I had already obtained perfection and had no sin in my life.
But yet, somehow, I do.
Let me just say it, "I AM A SINNER!" Phew...now that feels better.
I am a sinner. As much as I think I've obtained or gained some meritorial status as a christian (you know, I've been a christian for 20 years) or earned brownie points for getting my license to preach, I am still a sinner. I still make mistakes. I mess up. yep. That's me.
Now that you have picked yourself off the floor in realizing that I'm just like you (yeah, you're a sinner too), lets get down to business.
I have learned that some nasty habits of mine (38 years worth) are actually sin. I can justify that I've never known any better. I can say up until recently, I didn't realize I was even in sin. But either way, it's still sin. It doesn't matter whether I knew it or not - it's still sin.
Someone was kind enough to point it out. Kind...yeah. I didn't think so at first, but I am glad that they did. Their "kindness" is my growth. Because of their willingness and obedience to point out my flaw (ok - flaws, there was more than one), I am growing. I am being refined. I am having these impurities removed from my life.
It's never easy to be refined. It's never easy to be purified. Even worse, it's never pleasant to be pruned...losing well-worn and beloved habits hurts, but in the long run, I will be better for it.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Faithful in the Little.
"Be Faithful in the Little."
Those are the words the Lord gave me when I asked why doors haven't flung open for me in the arena of full-time ministry and itinerate evangelism.
Those are the words that caused me to call Paradise Manor, the local Senior Home run and operated by the Assemblies of God, and volunteer to lead a devotional. I'm now the 3rd Monday of each month.
Those are the words that are causing me to check-out and begin praying about my involvement with 252 Underground, a local youth ministry devoted to reaching the hard-to-reach kids in Lansdale.
Those are the words that continue to echo when I think of unsaved friends and loved ones that I am intentionally investing in...for the countless one-on-one teenagers I meet/text/facebook...
Be faithful with the Little.
Those are the words the Lord gave me when I asked why doors haven't flung open for me in the arena of full-time ministry and itinerate evangelism.
Those are the words that caused me to call Paradise Manor, the local Senior Home run and operated by the Assemblies of God, and volunteer to lead a devotional. I'm now the 3rd Monday of each month.
Those are the words that are causing me to check-out and begin praying about my involvement with 252 Underground, a local youth ministry devoted to reaching the hard-to-reach kids in Lansdale.
Those are the words that continue to echo when I think of unsaved friends and loved ones that I am intentionally investing in...for the countless one-on-one teenagers I meet/text/facebook...
Be faithful with the Little.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Doing Hard Things...
Steps of faith aren't always grandiose and hugely impactful...they can be just mere baby steps, in obedience to what God is calling you to do.
Yesterday, I took a baby step. I led devotions at a nursing home. So, Not so hard you say. Well, I have never been one to enjoy nursing home ministry. I work with Kids and Teens. So, I took this one GIANT fearful step and actually had fun. I walked in and felt at home. I enjoyed the message and the interaction with the seniors. It was a HUGE step of faith on my part, albeit one minute baby step in reality.
I continue to take steps of faith in everyday.
Yesterday, I took a baby step. I led devotions at a nursing home. So, Not so hard you say. Well, I have never been one to enjoy nursing home ministry. I work with Kids and Teens. So, I took this one GIANT fearful step and actually had fun. I walked in and felt at home. I enjoyed the message and the interaction with the seniors. It was a HUGE step of faith on my part, albeit one minute baby step in reality.
I continue to take steps of faith in everyday.
- I joined a CATALYST group, which is basically a group of licensed ministers in my region who gather regularly to discuss leadership issues. I go to my first one tomorrow. A little afraid - yeah. But I know this is a step of faith.
- Tonight, I am attending 252 Underground's bible study. What is 252? It's a place for teenagers who might not necessarily fit in anywhere else (including the typical church setting) to come and get fed, with physical and spiritual food.
- I joined Boot Camp - a highly effective physical training group. Starting on Monday, I will meet 3 times a week with several others at a local park for one hour of intensive physical exercise.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
I like it FAST!
I live in a FAST FOOD society, yet it seems circumstances around me keep me moving around like a sluggish turtle on an uphill mission full of slip-slidy mud to no-where!
I try pushing forward - only to find obstacles slowing me down. I try to resolve issues in my life, but something keeps it from happening. I have unanswered prayers...unanswered questions...unanswered direction...UGH!
As much as I want it done NOW...God is working something in the WAIT! I'm not sure what but there's something in the thinking that there's something He is doing.
I have been praying throughout the past week for refining, purifying FIRE that burns to the core of who I am. If you've ever tried to start a fire artificially, you've seen where when you put the fire-starter in the pile, a huge bright flame will seemingly cover the surface of the wood, but in a few minutes, when the fire-starter is consumed, oftentimes, the fire goes out.
THAT'S NOT THE FIRE I WANT!
I want the Fire that consumes to the very core of the wood. That even when the outside might look a little ashy and "dead", there's a fire that's burning deep within that when it's stirred or poke, a fire burns out bright and clear.
I don't want any artificial flames of "God" on me...I want the FIRE OF GOD to burn to the very center of my being. I want a fire that burns hot and bright - ALL THE TIME...not just for a show for a few moments.
That's the prayer of my week - for God to set me on FIRE!
All the other "stuff" that hinders me ... WHO CARES! All the other "stuff" that frustrates me ... LET IT FRUSTRATE ME NO LONGER!
I want my focus not on what's happening in the here and now, but to be on what God is going to do as I continue to step forward in FAITH!
So as much as I'd like the fire to burn in me bright and fast...I would much rather have the slow burn of God burn to the very core of my being and allow the purification process that comes with it.
Burn in me God.
I try pushing forward - only to find obstacles slowing me down. I try to resolve issues in my life, but something keeps it from happening. I have unanswered prayers...unanswered questions...unanswered direction...UGH!
As much as I want it done NOW...God is working something in the WAIT! I'm not sure what but there's something in the thinking that there's something He is doing.
I have been praying throughout the past week for refining, purifying FIRE that burns to the core of who I am. If you've ever tried to start a fire artificially, you've seen where when you put the fire-starter in the pile, a huge bright flame will seemingly cover the surface of the wood, but in a few minutes, when the fire-starter is consumed, oftentimes, the fire goes out.
THAT'S NOT THE FIRE I WANT!
I want the Fire that consumes to the very core of the wood. That even when the outside might look a little ashy and "dead", there's a fire that's burning deep within that when it's stirred or poke, a fire burns out bright and clear.
I don't want any artificial flames of "God" on me...I want the FIRE OF GOD to burn to the very center of my being. I want a fire that burns hot and bright - ALL THE TIME...not just for a show for a few moments.
That's the prayer of my week - for God to set me on FIRE!
All the other "stuff" that hinders me ... WHO CARES! All the other "stuff" that frustrates me ... LET IT FRUSTRATE ME NO LONGER!
I want my focus not on what's happening in the here and now, but to be on what God is going to do as I continue to step forward in FAITH!
So as much as I'd like the fire to burn in me bright and fast...I would much rather have the slow burn of God burn to the very core of my being and allow the purification process that comes with it.
Burn in me God.
Friday, April 23, 2010
While I'm Waiting...
The song, "While I'm Waiting" came on the radio on my drive home today:
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord
[ While I'm Waiting Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]
It was a reminder that I'm not to be anxious - while I'm waiting.
That I'm not to grow weary - while I'm waiting.
Even though the wait has seemed so extremely long, I will not faint, I will not fall - I'M WAITING!
I know the Lord has plans for me. I know there is a WELL-DEFINED CALLING on my life. I know these things. What I don't know is the How and the Where and the When of that calling. Yet, I will not sit and wait.
I was reminded of this thought as I was preparing for my DARE meeting tomorrow morning. Even though my future is "up in the air" and I don't know if I'm staying or going or...I am still DOING HIS WILL! I have loved taking these last 6 weeks going through the DISCIPLESHIP DARE with three teenage girls. It's been fun and rewarding to watch how God has used this material to touch their lives. I am also blessed just to have the opportunity to disciple them, to pray with them, to encourage them...just to hang with them.
So, while I'm waiting...I will SERVE as the Lord gives me opportunity. I will INVEST in others. I will STEWARD my time and energies into those the Lord has placed before me. I will MAKE A DIFFERENCE by showing Christ's love and being His hands and feet - as He enables me to do so!
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord
[ While I'm Waiting Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]
It was a reminder that I'm not to be anxious - while I'm waiting.
That I'm not to grow weary - while I'm waiting.
Even though the wait has seemed so extremely long, I will not faint, I will not fall - I'M WAITING!
I know the Lord has plans for me. I know there is a WELL-DEFINED CALLING on my life. I know these things. What I don't know is the How and the Where and the When of that calling. Yet, I will not sit and wait.
I was reminded of this thought as I was preparing for my DARE meeting tomorrow morning. Even though my future is "up in the air" and I don't know if I'm staying or going or...I am still DOING HIS WILL! I have loved taking these last 6 weeks going through the DISCIPLESHIP DARE with three teenage girls. It's been fun and rewarding to watch how God has used this material to touch their lives. I am also blessed just to have the opportunity to disciple them, to pray with them, to encourage them...just to hang with them.
So, while I'm waiting...I will SERVE as the Lord gives me opportunity. I will INVEST in others. I will STEWARD my time and energies into those the Lord has placed before me. I will MAKE A DIFFERENCE by showing Christ's love and being His hands and feet - as He enables me to do so!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Another day...another interview.
I have a 2nd interview scheduled this week with a company I interviewed with over a month ago. It's just another interview, but it feels like a BIG deal.
You've heard me say it before...God's heard me say it a zillion times...I just want to be in the center of God's Will.
But the question is...is this God's Will or is there something else? (Kind of sounds like John the Baptist's question of Jesus - "Are you the Christ or is there another?")
I am not doubting what God is up to...I am discerning His Will - yeah, that's it - discerning His Will. I know the easiest way to steer a car is when it is moving. I know I need to be taking steps and allowing God to steer (guide/direct) my path. But is this the direction I am to be moving my ship? That is my question...
So, Thursday is the day. It's just another Thursday....It's just another interview. Moving forward, allowing God to guide me. That is my motive, my heartbeat, my desire...to Walk in His Way, to be in the Center of HIS WILL!
You've heard me say it before...God's heard me say it a zillion times...I just want to be in the center of God's Will.
But the question is...is this God's Will or is there something else? (Kind of sounds like John the Baptist's question of Jesus - "Are you the Christ or is there another?")
I am not doubting what God is up to...I am discerning His Will - yeah, that's it - discerning His Will. I know the easiest way to steer a car is when it is moving. I know I need to be taking steps and allowing God to steer (guide/direct) my path. But is this the direction I am to be moving my ship? That is my question...
So, Thursday is the day. It's just another Thursday....It's just another interview. Moving forward, allowing God to guide me. That is my motive, my heartbeat, my desire...to Walk in His Way, to be in the Center of HIS WILL!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
It's Time to Stop!
It’s time to stop…and notice what God is up to all around me.
I went for my “faith” walk this morning. I asked God to show me what His Will is for my life. He had me side-tracked…noticing the nature around me. I saw a baby turtle sunning next to the mama turtle at the pond. There was a HUGE bull frog sitting in the mud. A giant bee collecting pollen…several blue jays chasing each other, following me…
The problem is that I’m always in such a one-focused hurry, that I miss what God is doing in the “here and now” all around me. Interesting. He might just be looking for my attention in a matter that is of utmost concern to Him at that very moment and I’m too busy looking at the horizon, wondering what’s on the other side.
I sent some emails to the district asking for someone to help “mentor” me in the itinerant evangelist realm. I got one response so far. I feel like this is a necessary step for me as I’m venturing into the unknown and unfamiliar for me.
In the meanwhile, I am still wondering about decisions to be made on the job front. I guess I will cross that bridge when I come to it. Until then, I will stop and notice what God is doing all around me.
I went for my “faith” walk this morning. I asked God to show me what His Will is for my life. He had me side-tracked…noticing the nature around me. I saw a baby turtle sunning next to the mama turtle at the pond. There was a HUGE bull frog sitting in the mud. A giant bee collecting pollen…several blue jays chasing each other, following me…
The problem is that I’m always in such a one-focused hurry, that I miss what God is doing in the “here and now” all around me. Interesting. He might just be looking for my attention in a matter that is of utmost concern to Him at that very moment and I’m too busy looking at the horizon, wondering what’s on the other side.
I sent some emails to the district asking for someone to help “mentor” me in the itinerant evangelist realm. I got one response so far. I feel like this is a necessary step for me as I’m venturing into the unknown and unfamiliar for me.
In the meanwhile, I am still wondering about decisions to be made on the job front. I guess I will cross that bridge when I come to it. Until then, I will stop and notice what God is doing all around me.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Thinking...Over Thinking...
I was Thinking...over thinking. (a line from a Relient-K song).
That's exactly what I've been doing. Thinking! My brain hurst from "over" thinking.
Should I do this or that?
IF I choose this - then, what if or it will affect that...
IF I choose that - then, I would miss out on this or maybe...
Over-thinking!
As I've been taking these daily walks and listening for God's voice, I might get a song lyric stuck in my head that plays over and over like a scratch on a CD causes it to skip...I don't think about anything - just that lyric. Other times, I have these little "plays" in my head of what if I do this or what if I do that. I control the movement of the actors as if I was the director.
Either way, I still do not feel the CLEAR direction of the Lord. But what's even funnier, I don't even have a decision to make yet. I have potential decisions to make. That's the funniest part! I have been getting headaches thinking...no, over-thinking the decision that I don't even have to make yet.
Well...I know that I will have the right answer, when it's the right time to answer. So, why do I continually over-think this?!
I think it's time for my walk!
That's exactly what I've been doing. Thinking! My brain hurst from "over" thinking.
Should I do this or that?
IF I choose this - then, what if or it will affect that...
IF I choose that - then, I would miss out on this or maybe...
Over-thinking!
As I've been taking these daily walks and listening for God's voice, I might get a song lyric stuck in my head that plays over and over like a scratch on a CD causes it to skip...I don't think about anything - just that lyric. Other times, I have these little "plays" in my head of what if I do this or what if I do that. I control the movement of the actors as if I was the director.
Either way, I still do not feel the CLEAR direction of the Lord. But what's even funnier, I don't even have a decision to make yet. I have potential decisions to make. That's the funniest part! I have been getting headaches thinking...no, over-thinking the decision that I don't even have to make yet.
Well...I know that I will have the right answer, when it's the right time to answer. So, why do I continually over-think this?!
I think it's time for my walk!
Friday, April 9, 2010
Either way...
I went for my 1-hour walk this morning…out of obedience. During the walk, I started talking with God about pending decisions and direction in my life. My desire – to walk in obedience to His Will. My first step of obedience…taking this walk. One step at a time.
As I was walking and watching my footsteps, thinking of how God has always guided my steps. He’s always directed me. Why do I doubt now? So, I’m walking, watching my footsteps and I see all these worms on the pavement. For the last few mornings, there are always worms on the pavement.
God asked me, “Which way are the worms going?”
My response, “Does it matter?”
God said, “Neither does it matter which decision you make.”
Interesting. These worms were going to fulfill their purpose no matter which side of the pavement they squirmed. Their purpose was to provide nutrients in the dirt for the grass, the flowers and the trees. My purpose is to share the Gospel, to provide LIFE to those who hear.
A little later on the walk, I came to a crossroad in the path. At the one end of the trail I walk, there is a loop, either way you go, you end up at the same place. I stood there for a moment contemplating how this might play out in the bigger picture of what God has/is speaking to me.
I could go either way. Either way I go, I would end up at the same destination.
I thought about this. God has NEVER left me out in the cold and allowed me to make a wrong decision when I diligently sought Him. Why would the decisions I be making in the near future be any different. He was allowing me to make a choice. Either choice, I would end up in the same place. The view would be different, but the purpose and the destination would be the same.
Maybe I overthink decisions way too much. Here I am wondering ... well, if I go this way, the view would be better and this way has a nicer downhill. But this side has no hills, but the view is not as nice. Either way, start one way and end up at the other. So do I want the nicer view and hill first or last?
And back to the worms...one side has lusher grass and the other has a creek...
Stop thinking. Stop over-thinking. The question is not about the view...it's all about living out THE PURPOSE I was created for...
As I was walking and watching my footsteps, thinking of how God has always guided my steps. He’s always directed me. Why do I doubt now? So, I’m walking, watching my footsteps and I see all these worms on the pavement. For the last few mornings, there are always worms on the pavement.
God asked me, “Which way are the worms going?”
My response, “Does it matter?”
God said, “Neither does it matter which decision you make.”
Interesting. These worms were going to fulfill their purpose no matter which side of the pavement they squirmed. Their purpose was to provide nutrients in the dirt for the grass, the flowers and the trees. My purpose is to share the Gospel, to provide LIFE to those who hear.
A little later on the walk, I came to a crossroad in the path. At the one end of the trail I walk, there is a loop, either way you go, you end up at the same place. I stood there for a moment contemplating how this might play out in the bigger picture of what God has/is speaking to me.
I could go either way. Either way I go, I would end up at the same destination.
I thought about this. God has NEVER left me out in the cold and allowed me to make a wrong decision when I diligently sought Him. Why would the decisions I be making in the near future be any different. He was allowing me to make a choice. Either choice, I would end up in the same place. The view would be different, but the purpose and the destination would be the same.
Maybe I overthink decisions way too much. Here I am wondering ... well, if I go this way, the view would be better and this way has a nicer downhill. But this side has no hills, but the view is not as nice. Either way, start one way and end up at the other. So do I want the nicer view and hill first or last?
And back to the worms...one side has lusher grass and the other has a creek...
Stop thinking. Stop over-thinking. The question is not about the view...it's all about living out THE PURPOSE I was created for...
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Decisions to Make...
A few weeks ago, I drove to Seneca Falls, NY in search of a new job. I felt pretty good about the location (it's much closer to all of my family) and it would afford me some new opportunities. I pretty much had my mind made up that if I was offered the position, I would take it.
Fast forward two weeks, they decided to go in a "different direction" in hiring. After having everyone come through, they realized they were looking for someone with more management experience (something I have little of). So, I resigned myself into believing that I wasn't going to be moving anytime soon.
I changed my direction and focus. Although I was putting out my resumes as before, surfing the job sites and all...I decided it was time to put energies into establishing some "essentials" for an itinerant evangelism ministry.
I played around with some logo ideas. I started this blog. I am working on setting up some "marketing" dvd's and cd's.
Again, fast forward two weeks, and it's yesterday. I met with a friend early in the day to talk about a few things on my mind (to sort out some of the stuff over the past few weeks) and she says, "You need to walk 1-hour everyday and God will speak to you." Ok. Normally I would just say ok and laugh it off later. But, God had already been speaking to me about walking. Though, I missed the part about Him speaking. When I left with her, I decided to go walking. I didn't have any great revelations or words from God, just feeling the need to be obedient.
Later that day (remember, it was yesterday), I get this phone message from a head-hunter I've been working with. The same company that decided I didn't have the management skills they were looking for was still very impressed with me and would like to talk with me about another position that has "opened up". Hunh!
I am so very lost and confused at this very moment. I got up this morning, went for the 1-hour walk. Spent time in God's Word. Prayed. Read some more. Prayed some more. And here I am - none the wiser.
Aren't you glad you're reading my posts? Kind of has that "sit on the edge of your seat" feeling to it - doesn't it?
Well, I am waiting...Waiting on God to direct my path. Waiting on God to speak His Will for my life. Probably more likely, waiting on me to hear God and what He has already spoken to me.
Still Waiting...
Fast forward two weeks, they decided to go in a "different direction" in hiring. After having everyone come through, they realized they were looking for someone with more management experience (something I have little of). So, I resigned myself into believing that I wasn't going to be moving anytime soon.
I changed my direction and focus. Although I was putting out my resumes as before, surfing the job sites and all...I decided it was time to put energies into establishing some "essentials" for an itinerant evangelism ministry.
I played around with some logo ideas. I started this blog. I am working on setting up some "marketing" dvd's and cd's.
Again, fast forward two weeks, and it's yesterday. I met with a friend early in the day to talk about a few things on my mind (to sort out some of the stuff over the past few weeks) and she says, "You need to walk 1-hour everyday and God will speak to you." Ok. Normally I would just say ok and laugh it off later. But, God had already been speaking to me about walking. Though, I missed the part about Him speaking. When I left with her, I decided to go walking. I didn't have any great revelations or words from God, just feeling the need to be obedient.
Later that day (remember, it was yesterday), I get this phone message from a head-hunter I've been working with. The same company that decided I didn't have the management skills they were looking for was still very impressed with me and would like to talk with me about another position that has "opened up". Hunh!
I am so very lost and confused at this very moment. I got up this morning, went for the 1-hour walk. Spent time in God's Word. Prayed. Read some more. Prayed some more. And here I am - none the wiser.
Aren't you glad you're reading my posts? Kind of has that "sit on the edge of your seat" feeling to it - doesn't it?
Well, I am waiting...Waiting on God to direct my path. Waiting on God to speak His Will for my life. Probably more likely, waiting on me to hear God and what He has already spoken to me.
Still Waiting...
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
It's Time to Step Out!
So, it's been 9 mos since I was laid-off. In that time, I have finished my studies and received my license to preach with the Assemblies of God, honed my bass-playing skills and cleaned every nook and cranny of my home.
I have applied at every company that I know of in a 5-mile radius, interviewed with several companies and contemplated my future.
I am deciding it's time to step-out and seek what it is that God would have me do. This is a faith journey, for I don't yet have my 5 or 10-yr plan yet. I don't even know what I'm going to do to finish this day out. But one thing for sure, I'm going to pray. I'm going to pray some more. I'm going to move...
It's time to start taking steps and trusting God to guide the next steps - stop me when I need to be stopped and turn me when I need to be turned.
I'm stepping out...
I have applied at every company that I know of in a 5-mile radius, interviewed with several companies and contemplated my future.
I am deciding it's time to step-out and seek what it is that God would have me do. This is a faith journey, for I don't yet have my 5 or 10-yr plan yet. I don't even know what I'm going to do to finish this day out. But one thing for sure, I'm going to pray. I'm going to pray some more. I'm going to move...
It's time to start taking steps and trusting God to guide the next steps - stop me when I need to be stopped and turn me when I need to be turned.
I'm stepping out...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)