When I am Weak...

2 Corinthians 12:10:

That's why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.  (NLT)

It was the 3rd day of my trip to Ecuador when IT hit.  I awoke with the most amazingly strong migraine in my personal history of migraines.  It was in my neck/shoulders and the forehead.  My eyes hurt.  The first thing I did when I got out of bed was pop the painkillers.  I wasn't going to let this get me. 

During breakfast, there were rumblings at the table of others who were having the same issue.  They were saying it was lack of water.  I drank almost 96 ozs of water alone the day before.  That doesn't include the juices, coffee and coke.  That couldn't be my issue.  Someone else suggested altitude sickness.  Possibly.  As we headed out on the worksite, I was still wrestling with the headache and now, nausea.  I started out in the pit picking through the rock and solid ground, but quickly realized I wasn't going to be of any use.  I resigned myself to sitting in the courtyard, watching all the workers busying themselves with the days tasks.  (That's me in the left corner near the dog in a blue jacket and tan pants).

As much as I wanted to work, I couldn't.  I could barely move.  I saw a group of the Pujilian students beginning to make beaded necklaces.  At first, I hesitated to go over.  My spanish was very minimal and I didn't have a lot of energy.  But, I felt like God was nudging me to participate.  So, I slid over and began helping one of the kids with their jewelry-making.  Some of the teens asked if I spoke Spanish.  I wanted to say, No hablo Espanol and move on, but I said, si, un poco.  The next few hours began a conversation of spanish ramblings with a Mariann spanglish mix. 

I didn't want to speak Spanish, because I wasn't good at it.  I didn't want to help with Jewelry-making, because it's not my strength.  I wanted to work - I like to work, I like to serve.  But God had something else for me.  Even in my waves of nausea and the continual reminder that I was not in "Kansas" anymore, God was doing a work in my heart.

He was showing me that He wanted to use me.  But not in the way I wanted or thought I should be used.  I don't want to fail or stumble.  I want to stand in my strengths, shouting "look at what I can do".  God wanted to shine in His strength - through my weakness.  Those students laughed at my spanish.  They laughed at some of the "mistakes" I made.  But they kept talking with me.  They kept conversing and attempting to communicate.  They too felt foolish using the little English they knew, but they did. 

But for a few hours, conversations over Justin Beiber and Selena Gomez, the musical likes/dislikes of Lady Gaga, Michael Jackson, and mainstream Brazilian duos were discussed.  I may not have understood every word, but laughs were shared, likes/dislikes were discussed and God was connected the hearts of 2 different cultures.

If I had been feeling fine, I would have been in the pit most of the day.  I would not have spent time connecting with these teenagers and children.  I would not have accomplished the task that God had for me that day.

God was teaching all of us.

That night, the headache was gone.  The nausea had passed.  But a lesson had been learned: when I stand in my strengths, I stand alone.  When I stand in my weakness, God holds me up - His Will is done.

For when I am weak, then I am strong.

The question you must ask yourself today - what weakness is it that God is challenging you to step out in?  Maybe just maybe, He wants to show His strength in your weakness.  Maybe, He will do something greater through you in your weakness than you could ever have accomplished in your strengths.