This was a question posed on the radio station this morning, it made me think: seriously now, can you truly have forgiven someone that you harbor anger over? Hmmm...good question.
I guess I haven't thought this question through. I know I've verbally said, "I forgive T.Y. for what he did", but I still have anger in my heart. Not sure exactly if that anger is towards him, the situation or just all the junk that's floated to the surface in the process. But have I truly forgiven?
If I am just angry at the situation, have I forgiven him? But, the situation wouldn't be there if he didn't play the part...so, am I angry at the situation or the situation that he caused which means that I am angry at him?
Can we, as mere mortal beings, with finite minds and limited use of our brains, truly ever forgive someone? I think it's a good question. It's easy to say, "I forgive you". Remember those moments as kids when your parents "made you" say you're sorry to a sibling? You didn't really mean it, you just said it to avoid getting in trouble (well, at least that's what I did). In fact, I HATED saying I was sorry. When my parents gave the ultimatum of being spanked or saying I'm sorry, I always chose the spanking. Somehow, it was less painful to me.
So,to the question posed:
Can One Truly Forgive and Harbor Anger?
I say, maybe. I know I'm taking the right steps. I've said it. I mean it. I'm working through the anger that is the result of everything that has happened. I'm using a 10-gallon sized skimmer to clean-up the olympic sized pool of floating junk in my life (hey, at least I'm trying).
I'm going to do a little more reading on this subject - it truly has me intrigued.
I'd like to hear some of your thoughts - Theological or practical!
Mariann,
ReplyDeleteThere can be forgiveness without the anger, but there are a few things that would need to be present. First of all we are commanded to forgive. There are no strings attached to this. The person may or may not even think they need to be forgiven for anything. There may or may not even be any visable repentance. But, Matthew 6:14,15 is clear, we are to forgive if we want to be forgiven. 2) Reconciliation - This can happen when there is repentance. When the other party has understood the offense and is looking to change or make effort to improve the situation. This would be after a clear conversation with clear expectations on what needs to be done so as to not have the situation happen again. 3) Restoration - This could only happen if there has been success during the reconciliation process. There may also be consequenses associated with the offense that may never allow restoration. At this point, if all the steps are properly and successfully achieved, there should be no holding on to this. As you can see there are many areas to deal with, but forgiveness does not automatically lead to restoration, but it should relieve the anger. We can talk more if you would like. RLutz