I understand...but do I?

I have been asking myself the question a lot lately, "Can one ever truly understand the pain/suffering/emotion of another?" 

Sure, we can have similar experiences.  Sure, we can laugh, we can cry.  Sure, our situational circumstances may have been similar, but can we ever truly know what is happening in another's heart?  Each one of us comes to the table with different family upbringings.  We have life experiences, close calls, emotional breakdowns, losses, gains.  Times of trial, times of great celebration.  Each of our life experiences are different.  I am amazed at even how different those in the same family can be in times of great emotion, based on personality and varying experiences, interests, etc.

Yesterday, I hugged the mother and father of a 9-yr old girl who was raped, beaten and strangled.  I was compelled to do it by some deep calling that in some small way, I knew how they were feeling.  But I could never really know their pain.  I could never know what it is to lose your daughter in that manner.  Here's what I do know - the terrible shock and denial that comes within hours of the realization that your loved one is no longer with you.  I can know the ache in the heart that feels like an eternal darkness that could never be extinguished.  I know the emptiness.  I know the darkness. 

I wanted to have words for them that would breathe life into the emptiness.  I wanted to say something that would bring hope and light.  But there was only one - "You're not alone".  It's all I had.  Those words were a constant reminder to me, hopefully, they will be a reminder for them.

I still don't think I could even begin to understand the great lost they are experiencing.  I understand loss, but do I understand their loss?  Nope.  I'm not even going to pretend.

But I'm not going to avoid them just because they are grieving and hurting.  That's the ABSOLUTE worst thing I could do.  So, compelled by Love and empathy, I pushed my way through a tight crowd of family, friends and onlookers and found my way to each of the parents - hugged them and told them - "You're not alone."