What I thought I Wanted is NOT what I got...

What I thought I wanted, what I got instead Leaves me broken and somehow peaceful
I keep wanting you to be fair
But that's not what you said
When I get to heaven I wanna go find Job
I want to ask a few hard questions, I wanna know what he knows
About what it is he wanted and what he got instead
How to be broken yet faithful...
                     ~(Excerpts from "What I Thought I Wanted" by Sara Groves)

I have been overwhelmingly amazed lately at the number of people who have been or are going through really BIG trials.  I don't know if it's increasing in frequency or maybe I just never noticed, but there are so many hurting people.  I am one of them.

Most of us, if not all, go through life wanting Happiness.  We want a blessed, peaceful, happy life.  We almost demand those things as our RIGHT.  But God never promised us those things.  In fact, this world gives us everything but these things.  We have divorce, loss, grief, shame, unfulfilled desires, rejection, hopelessness, despair.

Though God never promised us a "perfect" existence (post-sin in the garden of Eden) - Here's what He did promise us:

• Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. (Ps 23:4);
• I will never fail you. I will never abandon you. (Heb 13:5);
• When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.  (Isaiah 43:2);
• I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.  (John 16:33)

What I thought I wanted ... well, it's not what I got.  And that's Ok.  I thought Blessing and Happiness were the ultimate in living righteous for God, but guess what, they're not.  Yes, someday, when the world is rid of Satan and we are all in eternity with Jesus, these things will be the norm. 

But for now, I will take the fire - so I might be refined.  I'll take the brokenness - so I might be rebuilt in His image.  I'll take the rain - so I might grow.  I'll take winter - so I can have spring.

What I thought I wanted is NOT what I got, and for now, I'm OK with that!