Key Words...

There are a few key words that have floated around in this brain of mine through these past 17 days, they describe where I'm at...I'd like to share them with you.

• Peace that passes all understanding...can't explain it, just can tell you I have/am experiencing it.
• Feeling the prayers...again, can't explain it, but you know you're being prayed for.
• God's Grace...I don't deserve it, but He's given it to me anyways.  He's allowed me favor with finances (ie:  work bereavement time, cell phone bill, etc).  He's been gracious in my inability to worship, but just wanting to sit in His presence.
• Forgiveness...I can forgive T Y for what he did to my nephew, but that doesn't mean I don't have anger towards him or the situation.  The same Savior that died for my sins also died for the sins of those in the world - including the one who murdered my nephew.  My heart breaks for him.  I pray for his safety.  I pray he turns himself in.  I forgive him, but I still want justice.  But most of all, I want him to know God's love, God's forgiveness.
• Displaced Anger...There are just some things that are making me mad.  Just being honest - just being human.  I can't change any of the events that happened on 3/17-18.  The more I think about it, the angrier I get about certain things.  But, the things that I feel I should/need to have control over, if they don't go the way I need to - I get angry.  I am "addressing" this issue with the Lord.  But I ask patience of those around me.  As much as I forgive and trust God in all of this - I would be lying if I didn't say I want to PUNCH something or someone (mainly one T Y) if I had the chance.
• Faithful Friends...I have the most unbelievably faithful friends and support system.  They have called, sent texts, Facebooked me, sent cards, flowers, words of comfort and encouragement.  They have taken their arms and wrapped them around me.  They sit with me in church, holding my hand.  They have prayed.  They have done push-ups.  They have made me dinner.  They've allowed me to be part of their families when I couldn't sit at home alone.  They've listened as I drivelled on with my "feelings" or lack thereof.  They are just plain awesome!

So, there you have it.  Some of the things that are in my head/heart right now.